ape $hit...

Its one of those nights. From where I stand now it seems I might never rest. again, how does anyone stand themselves long enough to go to sleep? What's the fucking secret? I've worked 10 hours today on 4 hours of sleep. I should be ready to pass out. My eyes burn, but I dare not shut them. When I do, all I see are things I haven't done, things I should have done differently. It is so unlike me to be consumed by regret. Yet here I am being eaten alive. I can't shake the feeling that I'm wasting my life, that I have to do something right now. But what can you do @230 on a mon., when all the sane people are asleep? 2 hits or an 8 piece dinner? Niether. tonight ill just stare at the ceiling I think, and try to list reasons why I shouldn't quit my job. Because that would be fucking crazy, and more and more I fear I may be. Why else won't my body do what I tell it to? Go to sleep, love, be happy. No such luck.