(from 7/16/11)
i'm thirty now; but that doesn't weigh on me quite the way i thought it would. less writing, more doing has become the new theme of my life. i no longer find myself with the time or inclination to reflect. or plan for that matter. i've gone with it. i'm hurling through infinite space on a giant rock at thousands of mile per hour, with nothing but my own ignorance to hold me in my shoes. and now i can feel it. the uncertainty. the fear. the exhilaration. its the ride of a lifetime. time has begun to move faster though. of that i am certain. and i am still haunted by jeff telling me how quickly it all goes by. its all relative, and i've known sleep was the cousin of death for sometime. i do not fear it, but i still don't take naps either. i dreamed long enough. making those dreams manifest is far more entertaining. i want to remember now. now i feel like the sun itself. now i nourish and strengthen, destroy and create. but now is also a butterfly on the fingertips. it is there only a moment, and is easily unnoticed.
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