ape $hit...

I once again find myself seeking solace with my old friends food and drink. Cliche, but a bottle of grand meaux never made me feel socially akward. Just made me try to throw up and shit @ the same time. Much better feeling. I keep thinking that surely these feeling must be near the end. I mean, u can't logically go into your thirties and still not know how to interact with people, right? I put up a good front, laugh and joke, get me drunk I'm the life of the party. But sober? First chance I get I'm off in the cut, smoking a blunt watching life pass me by. Wtf is that? Worst part is I've convinced myself that's what's I deserve, and since the dude abides, that's what I get. Rebel without a clue. I once wrote that I wasn't an outcast, but a walked away. That's not entirley true though. I'm really a never was there at all.